Just Another Crazy FF7 Day
by Aerith Hojo
Summary: Okay I know, this story is just a bunch of nonsense. It mainly consists of stuff my friend thought up in one day. But it's kinda funny so what the heck? By the way..there's a bunch of cactuars, a giant flying roast chocobo, and the characters are Cloud


Just Another Crazy FF7 Day  
  
Okay you guys, it's not the greatest story in the world...In fact...It actually sucks. It's just a bunch of mindless FF7 dribble. But hell, I think it's funny. Also, I owe a lot of the ideas to my friend Trina so I'm going to give her most of the credit. If you guys think it's funny I'll talk to her and we'll make more together. Otherwise.... Please R+R and give me some more ideas so my next fan fic won't be so crappy. Hehe. And remember, none of the stuff I put in here is stuff I actually mean, and all of the characters belong to squaresoft and/or nintendo, AND I love ya! ^.^  
  
It was just like any other day in Costa Del Sol. Bright, sunny, and beautiful. Cloud woke and stretched, walking outside to gaze at the beautiful sunrise. Suddenly, something caught his attention. It was a giant flying roast chocobo!! Cloud's eyes bugged out.   
"Oh my god! It's a giant flying roast chocobo!!"   
He blinked, and it was gone.  
"Hmm ... Must've been my imagination."  
He walked back inside and ate some eggs for breakfast. Only, he couldn't cook so they tasted like rancid milk. But Cloud's goofy anyway, so he thought they tasted fine. A few minutes later, he decided to waltz on over and knock on the guestroom door.  
"Sephiroth! Get up! I made some damn eggs and you're gonna' eat em, or I'll tell everyone about that pink tutu you keep in your closet!"   
The door opened rapidly, and slapped Cloud right in the face. Sephiroth stepped over the knocked out Cloud and ran to the breakfast table. He ate quickly while Cloud was still unconscious, made a face, and gulped down almost a gallon of orange juice to wash the disgusting taste away. He ran back over to Cloud, kicking him in the gut.   
"Your nasty eggs taste like decaying dog ass!"  
Cloud shook his head and sat up, giving Sephiroth the look of doom. (Hah, yeah right. Cloud giving the look of doom. That I've GOT to see.)  
"Well... I'd like to see you get up before 10AM once in a while and make some breakfast. You should be thanking me."  
"I don't feel like it. Besides, why would I thank you? You're the one who made a Sephy pizza out of me before with your omnislash...what the heck is that?! Hey, I have to go to the store today! Come with me! ^.^"  
"I'd rather eat Red 13's kitty litter box. Besides, why not just poof there like you always do. You freaking Homo."  
"Sticks and stones, Cloud. Sticks and stones."  
Seph stuck his tongue out at Cloud, and turned on his heel so that his back was toward him.  
"I'm going outside."  
Sephy skipped to the balcony happily, while shoving a cookie in his mouth that he probably poofed from somewhere.(Don't Ask.) He swallowed the thing whole and looked out at the ocean. Something glowed in the distance.   
"Oh my God!!! It's a giant flying roast chocobo!"  
He ran inside with terror and clinged to Cloud's leg.   
"Save MEEEE! It's a giant flying roast chocobo!"  
Cloud pulled him off of his leg, and slapped him across the face.  
"Pull yourself together Sephiroth! Quit acting like such a queer!"  
Seph snorted.   
"It's not like you don't act like a queer 24/7 but I guess you never noticed."  
He stood and brushed his black cape off.   
"I don't need this! I'll take my business elsewhere"  
There was yet another poof of black smoke and then he was out of the Villa and into the local convenience store. To his surprise, it was very dark and gloomy.   
"Hello! Anyone home?! Psycho shop keeper guy coming to hack me up? ...Anyone?"  
He reached for the switch and flipped it. It was terrible! Horrible! It was worse than anything he'd ever seen before! Hundreds and hundreds of Sephiroth dolls. Nothing but Sephiroth dolls. Oh the horror!!!   
"AAAHHH!"  
He walked slowly throughout the store, hoping he could locate the owner and turn him into a Sephy-cabob, just like Aerith.   
"What is going on today!? First flying roasted chocobo things, now this?"  
He walked into the back room, and fortunately there were no Sephiroth dolls. But there was a magazine on the desk in the back.   
"Hmm..."  
It was an issue of Crack whore magazine! With Tifa on the front cover!  
"OH my god! It's ...TIFA! ...and...Ash Catchum from pokemon?! What?! ....That's just ...disturbing."  
He put the magazine down, gratefully, and pushed a bunch of books over. As he stomped through the room he saw what appeared to be a runt cactuar curled up in the back corner of the room. Sephiroth raised an eyebrow.  
"What have we here hmm?"  
The cactuar looked up and made an angry face. Sephiroth laughed.  
"HAH ...Like you're going to hurt me!"  
The cactuar sprayed a bunch of quills at Seph and of course Sephiroth ran out screaming like a little baby.   
Back at the villa, Cloud was laughing his butt off. Every time he looked at Seph he turned blue and dropped to the floor, rolling on the ground with laughter.  
"Shut up Cloud! ...S'not funny!"  
Seph pulled a few quills out of his behind and winced.  
"Friggin' cactuar! I won't be able to sit for a week!"  
Cloud turned red again, bursting with laughter. He laughed so hard, he accidentally kicked Seph in the crotch. Seph squealed and fell to the floor. Of course, Cloud laughed some more. What else? He finally shut up after about an hour and helped Seph up.   
"You okay buddy. I'm sorry, I got caught in the moment."  
Seph sneered and pulled his hand away from Cloud, stomping over to his room and slamming the door. Cloud folded his arms.  
"What a freaking wussy."  
Cloudy walked to his room and over to his dresser where he pulled out his can of spike wax. He glopped it onto his head. He was so shiny! (LOL)   
"There, that's better. I feel like going out to eat.... Maybe I should go bug Seph and Squall."  
Cloud waltzed on over to Seph's room and had the guts to knock on the door even after he just kicked him in the balls...what a fag.   
"Sephy I'm gonna go out and get something to eat! Wanna' come?"  
"*sigh* I guess so. As long as you don't hit me again."  
"Alrighty, should I invite Squall?"  
"Nah...let's make it just the two of us."  
He opened the door and winked at Cloud. Cloud backed away very slowly.  
"I... I'm going to invite Squall."  
"Heh, I was kidding you Doink."  
So they both knocked on Squall's door, yada, yada, yada, (I'll just leave that up to your imagination. Hehe) and they all left Costa in search of some place different to eat. They finally stopped at some bar, just outside of Costa. It seemed okay, so they walked in. Something was strange about this bar. There was no one there! Cloud walked up to the counter.  
"Hello? Anyone here?"  
They waited a few minutes, and a small, cute little cactuar peeked out of the back room. It stepped completely out, revealing a little pink tutu that was on his waist. Sephiroth gasped.  
"Hey! That's the same little cactuar that shot me! And it's wearing my...erhm I mean, nevermind!"   
Cloud snickered, and as soon as the little cactuar recognized Sephiroth's voice it darted back into the back room. Cloud walked over to the back room and when the others followed, he stopped, shaking his head, motioning for them to stay where they were. Cloud stepped into the room and noticed that there were dozens of cactuars, cooking fried pokemon and they were all wearing little pink tutus. He looked to his side and read the menu.   
"Fried Pikachu tails? Magikarp Sushi? Roast Psyduck? What the?!"  
Just then, an angry customer barged into the back room.   
"I ordered a fried pikachu tail this morning. I've been waiting here for it for hours. Then you guys gave me a giant roast chocobo and I threw it out the window! It hit some guys head, but lucky for you, he didn't see where it was coming from or else you would be in court right about now!"  
Cloud scratched the back of his head.   
"So THAT'S where that giant flying roast chocobo came from!"  
Cloudy walked out of the room and put his hands on his hips looking at Sephiroth.   
"We weren't hallucinating! There really WAS a giant flying roast chocobo."  
"Well what do ya know?"  
"So ya want some magikarp sushi guys?"  
They nodded and spoke in unison.  
"I guess I can live with that, yeah."  
So they all ate some food and lived happily ever after. Except for Sephiroth who never actually got his tutu back, and needed to go to a doctor to get one of the quills removed from his ass.   
  
THE END  



End file.
